只是开玩笑

kāi wán xiào

Just kidding

This is the perfect sentence to know when you make a joke in China. Why is that?

Why you need to know how to say “Just kidding”when you make a joke in China

We, western people, often use a kind of sarcastic humor or make jokes based on exaggeration. Imagine the situation when a Chinese friend makes you strange-looking chicken claws to eat (which don’t turn out to be sometimes you like) You may sarcastically say “wow, that was delicious, I could eat that at every dinner! I’ll take another plate!… ” but they will run to grab you another plate.

That’s the kind of joke that most of the time they won’t get, and will take it seriously instead. That’s where a good 只是 开玩笑! can be placed.

Chinese people are usually accustomed to a different kind of humor. Chinese humor can be pretty hard to get for us because it’s often based on linguistics, tones and wordplay. Also, they can look a lot more serious than Westerners when making jokes. See, they really like cold/black humor (冷笑话 – lěng xiào huà) said without any expression on their face. You could view Chinese humor as a more “serious” flavor of humor.

Another thing the Chinese are not entirely accustomed to doing is to make fun of themselves, whereas we often make self-deprecating comments, or don’t mind looking silly for the sake of a good laugh. The focus on ‘face’ and fear of being ridiculed can exclude them from an entire genre of humor.

So let your Chinese friends know you are joking by saying 只是 开玩笑!

If you must make a bad, crappy, ridiculously mean joke, just make sure you are close enough to your audience so that they won’t feel offended. Alright? And remember: 只是开玩笑 is your best friend when you make a joke in China and it falls flat!

So, remember: 只是开玩笑 is your best friend when you make a joke in China and it falls flat!

Source: Quora

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3 main expressions to say sorry in Chinese: 

对不起, 抱歉 and 不好意思

#1. 对不起 (Pinyin：duì bù qǐ)

对不起 is a simple and straightforward word that people use to say sorry in Chinese.  As it can immediately defuse a situation, this is a great word to know! 对不起 means “unworthy”, and conveys a meaning of “I owe you”. As such, when you’re saying 对不起, you’re pretty much admitting your mistake directly and apologizing for it. So, in English, it is translated as ‘‘sorry”.

对不起，我踩到你的脚了。

Duìbùqǐ,   wǒ cǎi dào nǐ de jiǎole.

Sorry I stepped on your foot.

That person replies:

没关系。

Méiguānxì.

It’s all right.

Example 2: Your friend yelled at you because you dared to laugh when he walked straight into a glass door. Once the pain has subsided, your friend says:

对不起，我不该对你发脾气。

Duìbùqǐ,  wǒ bù gāi duì nǐ fā píqì.

I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have blown up at you.

You reply:

就是嘛，你不应该对我发脾气，这根本不是我的错。

Jiùshì ma,   nǐ bù yìng gāi duì wǒ fā píqì,  zhè gēnběn bùshì wǒ de cuò.

Damn right, you shouldn’t have! It’s not even my fault.

Example 3: You bump into a table and your colleague’s brand new cup she brought back from New York crashes on the floor. You say:

对不起，我打碎了你的杯子。

 Duìbùqǐ,  wǒ dǎ suìle nǐ de bēizi.

I’m sorry that I broke your cup.

Your colleague says:

没关系，别担心。

Méiguānxì, bié dānxīn.

It’s all right. Don’t worry about it.

Example 4: The person you’re speaking to must hold the world record for fastest speech. You need him or her to repeat. You say:

对不起，请再说一遍好吗？

Duìbùqǐ, qǐng zàishuō yībiàn hǎo ma?

I beg your pardon, could you repeat what you said?

 #2. 抱歉 (pinyin：bào qiàn)

抱歉 (bào qiàn) is another way to say sorry in Chinese. 抱 (bào) means hold, 歉 (qiàn) means regret. There are two ways to translate 抱歉 in English. It can first mean: feeling sorry and guilty for an inconvenience that you caused. It can also mean regretting something that happened to someone.

真抱歉给你添了这么多麻烦。

Zhēn bàoqiàn gěi nǐ tiānle zhème duō máfan.

I am so sorry to be bringing you so much trouble.

Example 2: Your neighbor’s pesky little dog that loved barking all night long just died. You still feel bad for your neighbor:

对于你的狗去世我感到很抱歉.

Duìyú nǐ de gǒu qùshì wǒ gǎndào hěn bàoqiàn.

I’m sorry your dog passed away.

#3. 不好意思 (Pinyin：bù hǎo yì si)

Originally, the word 不好意思 (bù hǎo yì si) didn’t mean sorry, and just meant “embarrassed and shy”. As in:

Xiǎo gūniáng jiàn dào mòshēng rén gǎndào hěn bù hǎoyìsi.

小姑娘见到陌生人感到很不好意思。

The little girl feels so shy when she meets strangers.

Now, however 不好意思 (bù hǎo yì si) is very often used as a more polite way to apologize. As a form of apology, it has 2 meanings. You can use it to say sorry in Chinese about things or situations that are not too important, but you still feel embarrassed about, such as being late or rejecting an invitation. Example 1: It took you forever to get to work because it was raining and all the taxis were full, and you had to take the metro instead (seriously this happens all the time in Shanghai). You say:

不好意思，我迟到了。

Bù hǎoyìsi, wǒ chídàole.

Sorry I’m late.

Another meaning of不好意思 (bù hǎo yì si) in English is “excuse me”. It’s a formal phrase that can be used to get someone’s attention when you need to ask something. Example 2: To make matters worse, you didn’t know where the subway station was. You ask:

不好意思，请问一下地铁站在哪里。

Bù hǎoyìsi, qǐngwèn yīxià dìtiě zhàn zài nǎlǐ.

Excuse me, could you tell me where the subway station is?

To sum up

• 对不起 may be how you first learn to say Sorry in Chinese when you learn Chinese but do know it carries a strong meaning.

Use it for: Situations where you need to admit your mistake and move on. Add 请原谅我 (Qǐng yuánliàng wǒ) when you really slipped up and need to beg for forgiveness.

• 不好意思 is awesome when you’ve done something minor but you feel embarrassed about it or want to get someone’s attention.

Use it for: situations where you’re running late, can’t make it, need to apologize because it’s polite but you don’t really mean it (i.e when you’re trying to get someone’s attention…) and so on. Add 打扰了 (dǎrǎole) or 麻烦了 (máfanle)  to your 不好意思  when you’re trying to politely get someone’s attention.   Last but not least,

• 抱歉 is close in meaning to 不好意思 . You can especially use it when you feel bad about something you’ve done or something that happened to someone.

Use it when: you were a pain and you regret it; a service is temporarily out of order; something failed to do what it was supposed to; someone or an animal passed away, and many more situations.

So there you go! With these three magic words, you’re now all set to say sorry in Chinese if something occurs! Just don’t go getting into too much trouble on purpose to practice these new expressions! 🙂

UPDATE: Need more expressions to sound polite in Chinese, especially when you’re being a bother? Then check out part 2: Become an expert apologizer!

Miaw! Yuqi and 

The Nincha Team

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